every event needs…

…a captain.

“I am the captain now.”

When you bring a group of people together for anything, whether it’s a big family weekender, a birthday or a work event…there has to be a captain, a leader, someone running that ship, no matter how casual.

”Why?” You ask. “why can’t we just have fun and figure it out as we go?” (usually my lad mates.)

Cause you may run out of coffee beans, or worse…limes for the margaritas or BEER. Or you’ll run people out and they’ll get tired and hangry cause you didn’t plan the food.

This is what happened 2 weekends ago with my fam + boyfriend (I know, wild to type)…we all got together for an extended weekend of fun. Usually when people come with me to my parents, it ends up being a casual calm mix of pubs, gorgeous dinners by Dad + maybe a few walks. However, this was 5 nights, 7 people, one of which is a soon-to-be 90yr old lady, so there needed to be a bit of a plan.

Now, this won’t come as a shock to anyone but, I usually self-nominate as Cap’n, not even on purpose, it’s just natural, I feel the fucking ship heading the wrong way from the off…I can see the lads bevving the cans at a rapid rate, when there’s no reserves down in the, shit what’s that part of the ship called? down under? nah. anyway. you get my point.

THIS particular weekend, I didn’t want to automatically step up and ‘boss people around’, which, is what so many people jokingly say to you when you are that guy in the group…because this was boyfriends first weekend up at my parents, so I wanted to be present + just be ‘chill maaaan’, but alas, as soon as I tried to relax, I realised, there was no plan for the days, which was making Dad feel a bit lost. Not to mention, the meat had been thought about but not the sides AND we were running out of beer cuz there were no concrete plans so all there was to do was sit and drink AND it was a bank holiday weekend, ain’t nobody wants to run to the store those weekends.

So yeah, I self nommed, stated my purpose + delegated everyone a job and wrote a list out, stat. And I was thanked, by pretty much everyone, not my Gram, she just went wherever she was told so it’s all the same to her, but even she had better clarity on how long she could nap for.

I’ve worked in hospitality / management, my ENTIRE LIFE, what the hell do you expect? And uh, that margarita you’re holding? Mixed with the fresh sugar syrup I made a batch of whilst simultaneously entertaining my Gram + planning tomorrows dinner? You’re so welcome.

Not everyone can do it, and look, disorganised choas has a time + a place, but even the best most spontaneous events, the ones where you wanna feel ‘free maaan’ will always have had some of the most complex planning and management running in the background, all held together by, a captain.

So the next time you think you can just throw people in a pretty room and see what happens? Think again.

When you create an intentional structure or plan, I promise you’ll then create a space/event where the best kind of freedom can safely grow and express itself.

Don’t rawdog that ship, please.

p.s. it’s called a hold btw, where shit is stored in a ship, a HOLD.